Thursday, 29 November 2012

Attachment Parenting Causes Divorce???!!!

Did Attachment Parenting Contribute to Mayim Bialik’s Divorce?

Well this is an interesting story.  Everyone remember Blossom?  Now Amy in The Big Bang Theory?

What is Attachment Parenting?
The term and the theory was originally developed by Dr. Sears.  I like the guy, I bought his books, I read them, and I used a lot of his ideas.  I think that in any parenting situation, the best parent is the parent that takes what they learned from different outlets and uses what they feel works best.  I found his theories interesting and I adopted a lot of them with both my kids.

8 Steps to Attachment Parenting
  1. Preparation for Pregnancy, Birth and Parenting
  2. Feed with Love and Respect
  3. Respond with Sensitivity
  4. Use Nurturing Touch
  5. Ensure Safe Sleep, Physically and Emotionally
  6. Provide Consistent Loving Care
  7. Practice Positive Discipline
  8. Strive for Balance in Personal and Family Life

There are a few criticisms to his philosophies.
1. It's too strenuous and demanding of parents.
William (2) and Charlotte (9.5months) 
- The idea is to create a unique bond with your child through nursing and continuously holding or touching your baby.  This worked for me, I nursed both my kids until they were over a year old.  Mainly because they were both tiny and because it gave them the best chance for development.  It was a heck of a lot cheaper than formula and certainly helped the mommy waste-line.  My theory was to dodge the formula get them to a point where they just needed regular milk.  I was uncomfortable with the idea that my kids could remember nursing or to the age where they could verbally asked to be nursed.  I also don't have any pictures of me nursing, I wasn't comfortable with that either and typically chose private locations for my own securities.
- I also slept with my babies until they were 2-ish. This was mostly out of convenience.  It's a lot easier to nurse a baby when they are right beside you.  I was a single mom when they were 2 and 9.5 months, so it was comforting to have them close by when I was alone.
- They went everywhere with me.  They didn't stay the night without me until they were over a year and they stayed with their father.  If I couldn't bring my babies, I didn't go.  It wasn't hard for me, I didn't feel like I was missing out and I knew that it was all just temporary.  It's a way of changing your life for your kids, like not drinking while you are pregnant or working from home so they didn't go to daycare.  It's not meant for everyone, but it worked for me.

William (2) and Charlotte (9.5months) 

2. Co-sleeping is dangerous
- Well, I can see this.  It worked for me, but then as soon as I felt the blanket come up too high, I was awake.  Again, just a change in lifestyle - less sleep is part of parenting and only lasts a couple years.

3. Creates Attachment disorders
- I'm really unsure of this.  The idea is that it's suppose to create children that are able to leave the nest.  I never had any issues with my kids being attached.  They were and still are quite the opposite in this regard.  William and Charlotte have always been comfortable saying bye to mommy and are never ever afraid to leave me.  They know I'm always there when they need me and I'm pretty sure that's because of the attachment lifestyle we adapted.  Maybe it's because I have always been comfortable letting them go too, I encourage "you will be fine without mommy" atmosphere even if it hurts me to say goodbye.  

- Is Attachment Parenting the right way - well that's anyone's opinion and in all honestly, I believe that my approach worked best for my kids and whatever approach anyone else may have, works for them and is not my business or my concern.
- There is definitely no question that Mayim and her exhusband were on the fanatical side of attachment parenting.  But is it the cause of divorce?  Honestly, there are probably more issues in their relationship then how they raised their kids, if they can be compared to my situation.  I can't speak for my exhusband, but I'm sure that nursing, cosleeping, and carrying my babies wasn't the reason we are divorced now.  If it is for some people, then you are probably better off single!

1 comment:

  1. These are great diapers. They stay in place, are very absorbent, and do not permit leaks. These are our favorite out of all diapers. They fit so much better and don't leak nearly as often.. haven't leaked yet actually unless you need a bigger size. Good indicator!